September 9th, 2008
The King of All Media has taken it a step further and is auctioning off the virginity of San Diego native "Natalie Dylan". The auction is being done through the Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada where her sister is a resident, ahem, employee. She says that she's willing to take a polygraph and a gynecological exam to prove her authenticity. The deal will be used for her to pay for her masters degree and will be consumated at the Bunny Ranch. The reason for her participation is as follows:
"We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?”
Yeah...this makes sense. I'm sure a lot of guys want to put up their hard-earned loot to outbid others in order to be rewarded with "Not so fast, not so fast, ow, ow, ow, ow...okay stop I'm too sore". On the other hand, she's waited and been chaste her entire life, THROUGH college, to blow it all (pun sooo intended, booyah) to be railed out for the first time in a whorehouse. And you thought romance was dead...