With the VP Debates tonight, I’ve decided to step out of my normal ridiculous rants and get more serious about this elec- ahh who am I kidding…another rant:
Joe Biden has many years of experience and is known for being a very, ahem, passionate speaker. Although I’m sure he has the mental acuity to go toe-to-toe with Mrs. Sarah Palin, he needs to skip all of the political barbs, arguments, and political issues in general. Skip ’em. Biden, if you want to win tonight, you need to make her cry…tonight…in the first presidential or vice-presidential debate in which one of the participants is a woman. You need to take everything that makes women upset (i.e. You’re a bad mother, Yes that dress makes you look fat) and just pound her down until she’s an emotional trainwreck. The loss of power, not to mention the setback of women on the political stage, will be too much to bear, and you will be there… the man.. with this wrecked, sloppy mess of an opponent flooding the stage next to you.
Sarah Palin, however, can utilize one of the best counters in VP debate history, and it is one that no other VP candidate has ever had access to. Sarah, get your hair did, put on some nice (slightly clingy, but not skanky) attire, and come out there with the poise and grace of a seasoned newscaster. If Biden succeeds in the brilliant strategy listed above, then he’s only made a hot woman cry. And NO ONE likes a dude that makes a hot woman cry… matter of fact, it would fill me with a rage that can only be personified through swift and exacting punishment. At that point, the only thing he will have accomplished is pissing off every warm-blooded male in this great country of ours.
Some links to get ready for the debate:
Biden vs. Palin: What To Watch For During VP Debate – [San Jose Mercury News]
VP Debate Moderator Ifill Releasing Pro-Obama Book – [International Herald Tribune]
Palin’s New Plan, Go After Biden – [Politico]
Ground Rules Set For VP Debate – [AJC]