November, 2008

I’m going to be in a food coma for the next couple days so I wouldn’t expect a whole lot out of this site.  Happy Thanksgiving!

I guess this is old.  However, I found it today…and lauuugghed and laughed. Via Boosh Magazine:

Tom,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way.

There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won’t even
try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a
stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us,
what I can’t handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird, the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn’t crack a smile
if you paid me, there are songs I can’t listen to, and I just feel
beyond crushed.

I don’t know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn’t.
I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this
is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
stupid, I can’t imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and
weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn’t reflect
that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I
hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back
what happened. I am so sorry.

- Sarah
 
——————————————————————————–
Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your concern. I’ll be sure to file it away under ‘L’ for
‘Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn’t care less about’.
You did a stupid thing huh?

No…doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is ‘a stupid
thing’; Mixing in a red Sock with a load of whites is ‘a stupid thing’;
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you’re taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn’t as much a ‘Stupid thing’ as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I’m not sure if

it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think
that by saying ‘Well, I didn’t Fuck him’ somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn’t care less if the world ‘looked funny’ to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I’m sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else’s feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don’t think
you’re a terrible person, they just think you’re the average run of the
mill cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,

Tom

Ahhh…young love.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcSbsdQVl8k]

Via BBC News:

“Gunmen have opened fire at a number of sites in the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay), killing at least 80 people and injuring about 200 more.

Police said shooting was continuing and that the incidents were co-ordinated terrorist attacks. Gunmen have taken hostages at two hotels and a hospital.

At least seven sites have been targeted across India’s financial capital. “

Not to knock this situation or anything, but this news article is better than any action movie I’ve seen this year.  Just saying…

No I’m not using internet lingo (note the lack of zeroes for o’s)…but as a token of my appreciation for the record breaking views I’ve been getting (my own pathetic records, mind you), I will introduce those of you that don’t know about it to Woot.com.  The premise is simple… one day, one deal.  Each day, they put up a different item for cheap prices, but they get bought up quickly so you’ve got to really be on your p’s and q’s with this one.  Go get you something for cheap… on me.

For being real fresh for the weekend.  I love the beat-down look of the leather, well done.

Get it at luisaviaroma.

By the genius virgins over at Cracked.  Click the picture for all of them…these are hilarious.

5 Astounding Advances In The Science Of Getting Drunk – [Cracked]

How To: Make A Teen Movie That Makes 100 Million Dollars – [Holy Taco]

Top 10 Job Interview Mistakes – [Ask Men]

The 15 Worst Movies That Made The Most Money – [Unreality Mag]

The 10 Hottest Videos Of Celebrity Girls Crawling On All Fours – [Manofest]

Batman To Be Killed Off After 70 Years – [Telegraph]

Real old school sonnnn.

Skipping the commentary in regards to this maniac being on the cover and RS heralding her non-existent comeback, did I miss something?  Is there a reason that the cover of Rolling Stone looks like US Weekly?  There’s only one line on this entire cover that even alludes to the semblance of a piece about music.  Sad.

Lupe goes in on a bunch of Gorillaz tracks.  I’ve touted Lupe as one of the better lyricists that’s come around the bend in a while and I’m pumped another decent mashup is hangin ’round.  Click the link to download.