Now you can smell like Brian Fontana when you’re courting a special lady. The offically licensed Sex Panther cologne is now available thanks to Omni Consumer Products. Their CEO:
“Sex Panther Cologne is the exact embodiment of what a real cologne should be,” said Omni Consumer Products founder, Pete Hottelet. “The fragrance is clean, fresh, and extremely manly. Manly like eating a bowl of cereal doused in motor oil, consisting mainly of shavings from the Apollo moon lander and Richard Petty’s championship 1970 Plymouth Superbird. Manly like walking into a bar and ordering a screwdriver — made out of actual screwdrivers. It’s designed from the ground up to make you popular with the ladies; human ladies, to be exact. So I hope that’s what you’re into.”
They’ve done studies, you know. It’s over ladies, might as well get those skirts off now.
Men, get it here.