January, 2009

I’ll say 3 things in regards to this video:

1) I’ve sweated the College Humor rise to power story since I first read about it in college so I’m excited to see how this turns out.

2) It needs to be on Comedy Central, because fuck MTV. (Should be changed to Bullshit Reality Television)

3) The College Humor offices are located in an $10,000/month Tribeca loft in NYC.  The founders used to (still do? I don’t do research anymore) live in the apartment upstairs (also $10,000/month) so they just have to take an elevator to work, so I’m super jealous.

Proof.

Click the picture…you’re fucking busted guy.

Anatomy Of A Middle School Fight – [Holy Taco]

7 Badass Animals Presidents Have Kept As Pets - [Cracked]

The 9 Hottest CNN Reporters – [Next Round]

Michael Irvin Avoids Armed Robbery Because He’s Michael Irvin – [Smoking Gun]

The Fattest Cities In America – [Mens Fitness]

The 10 Most Horribly Unnecessary Cartoon Sidekicks – [Topless Robot]

This video PSA from the 70′s about marijuana is literally one of the funniest PSA’s I’ve seen in a long time.

via videosift.com

My 5 favorite parts:

1) The narrator using words like “bogus” and “buzzing”

2) “I know what you’re thinking. ‘What is marijuana? What makes marijuana so dangerous?  Where can I get some marijuana?’” (priceless)

3) “Well brother, I’m not going to nickle and dime you.”

4) “People will call you names like ‘pothead’ and ‘smokey mcbongwater’” (I can’t stop laughing at this point)

5) “You’ll take a liking to sitar music.”

6) The video is 4:20 long.

If your dad made a music video it would look just like this…

For axe-murdering on the go!  From Gerber Gear:

“Using our knowledge and long history of designing and manufacturing folding knives, Gerber brings the KICK Axe to life. Employing innovative, reliable and strong locking mechanisms, the design of the KICK Axe is sure to compliment any outdoor activity. Our line of axes provide the perfect combination of durability, balance and light weight. As with any knife or axe, always be careful when opening or deploying the axe head. Ensure both the axe head and handle locks are secured before use.”

You have to wait until July 2009 to get one. 

Via Uncrate.

Meet Alison from the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee, the winner of College Humor’s America’s Hottest College Girl 2008.  She wins 10 Grand, a trip to NYC, a College Humor party thrown in her honor, and, perhaps the grandest prize of all, my heart.  Click the picture of her to see a slew of other myspace-ish, professional, and candid photos.

I overheard these 30-something year old females chattering about the New Kids On The Block Cruise that they are going to be performing on as a themed cruise.  Instead of using the power of my pimp hand to cast these bitches down from their hysterical excitement, I calmly ate my food and decided to look into this shit myself. It’s just as retarded as I thought. According to USA Today:

“The music world was abuzz Tuesday over news former boy band New Kids on the Block would be heading to sea in May as the hosts of a themed cruise.

First reported by People.com, it’s considered a come down by some for the once high-flying group, which finally reunited this past year after several unsuccessful efforts to get the group back together. But band members were upbeat about the gig.

“Our manager tells us this is not a cheesy thing,” band member Joey McIntyre tells People.com in a video posted at the site. “This is not a step back.”"

No, its definitely cheesy, and yes, it is not a step back.  It’s so much further back it might as well be a fucking time machine.  I suppose doing a cruise out of Florida is a good idea though.  I’m sure singing about raising kids and getting arthritis would be greatly appreciated by the elderly crowd. 

*Side note: I looked their discography up because I realized I know almost nothing about this group.  This is a portion of their discography I found to be amusing:

1986: New Kids on the Block
1988: Hangin’ Tough
1989: Merry, Merry Christmas
1990: Step by Step
1990: No More Games/The Remix Album
1991: H.I.T.S.
1994: Face the Music
1999: Greatest Hits
2001: Super Hits
2008: Greatest Hits – Re-Release
2008: The Block

That’s right… a Greatest Hits, SUPER Hits, and a Greatest Hits – RE-Release.  Fantastic.