March, 2009

I posted the link in the Coffee Break the other day, but in case you didn’t hear:

“Police said Monday they confiscated about $1.2 million in illegal drugs and more than $68,000 in cash from concertgoers. Authorities also arrested 194 Phish fans during the three-night celebration of the band’s return to the stage after a nearly five-year absence.

Most of the arrests were for drug possession, use and distribution, police said.”

Well, The Smoking Gun got ahold of some of the mugshots…and they are exactly what you would think they look like, spectacular.  It’s like a hippie yearbook.

See them all here.

South Park kicked it off with a bang last night, taking aim at the Jonas Brothers in a fashion only South Park is capable of.  Just like High School Musical, they took a carefully crafted Disney creation and shat on it’s face, not only nailing the parody but offering up a comical solution to explain why these dudes, who should be nailing every tween between the coasts, are satisfied being little queerbait virgins. 

 The best parts of the episode were definitely the concert footage of the little girls losing their minds, and badass Mickey making Stewie Griffin look like an alterboy.  Everytime that mother fucker ended his sentences with that Mickey laugh it elicited an almost Pavlovian laugh out of me every time.

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Definitely worth a watch, and South Park has started off the season, yet again, as an oasis in the barren landscape that is recent late night television.

Watch the full episode at South Park Studios.

5 Accidental Inventions That Changed The World – [Cracked]

12 Mantastic Caves – [Gunaxin]

The 10 Most Overlooked Band Members – [Spike]

Congress At Work: $1 Billion Fucking Dollars An Hour – [Politico]

The Work Pyramid – [Holy Taco]

David Thorne’s At It Again: Using The Magic 8 Ball To Answer Emails – [27bslash6]

I was hoping a gun would show up in this argument…

Every Prius driver ever...

A Woman’s Poem

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep.

One who’s handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks. One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s gainfully employed; and when I spend won’t be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Rubs my back and wants to do more.

Oh send me a man who loves my mind; not another that worships my behind.

I pray that this man will love me to no end; and always be my bestest friend.

- – -

A Man’s Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with

great boobs who owns a liquor store next to a golf course.

A chick who loves to send me fishing and drinking.

And doesn’t care that my poems don’t rhyme.

Via B&P

There’s an important lesson to be learned here, and that lesson is to always keep a flash drive handy… or just steal the laptop?  I’m not good at “morals of the story” or “keeping friends”.

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While you might think I’ve been slacking off this morning , I have actually been working to build a portion of the site that many of you might find amusing.  I’m amassing all the photos I’ve ever posted and putting them all in the Photo Booth page that you now see up in the top.  I’ve started with all the Coffee Break photos as well as anything that I’ve labeled Mindless Drivel.  After I’m done with the backlog, I’ll update any new photos I post as well, making it the most badass photo gallery on the internet…ever.  Seriously…fucking ever.  Enjoy.

In the tree outside your window,

Your favorite blogger’s favorite blogger.

I’ve always assumed Billy Mays just rolled into the set… on a unicorn, nailed his shit, then boned the hottest PA around (probably saying “But wait, there’s more” while doing so).  Apparantly even infomercial gods make mistakes…watching this video was like finding out there isn’t a Santa.