Screw what you’ve heard.  Red Forman is the consummate father figure.   While most TV dad’s spend all their time turning their kids into pussies through loving talks and kind words, Red was pounding fatherly knowledge into your brain with military-issued, commie-crushing boots.  The real shame, I think, was he was never able to fully express himself through what most assuredly would have been cleverly crafted cursing if the show had been on HBO or something.  It’s like he had an arm tied behind his back the whole time.  Here’s some video clips of some life lessons from TV’s greatest father figure.

Red Forman On Life

Red Forman On Government

Red Forman On Cats

Red Forman On Love

Red Forman On Responsibility

Finally, Red Forman On Putting His Foot In Your Ass