June, 2009

..another “Best Of Craigslist”

Drunk as Balls Dojo
Date: 2009-05-11, 12:21AM MST

Are you a casual drunk to full blown alcoholic? Is your mouth often writing checks your fists can’t cash? Drunk as Balls Dojo is the answer to all of your problems. At Drunk as Balls Dojo you will learn the fine art of bar fighting from one of the nation’s premiere trouble drunks- Ryan O’Reilly. Master O’Reilly has been banned nationally from such established chains as Friday’s, Buffalo Wild Wings, and every Border’s Book Store containing a Starbucks. He is an expert in the “What are you looking at” and “You got a problem” fighting styles, but is very skilled in a variety of other styles such as “She was talking to me.”

Master O’reilly will take you from the pansy-ass lush you are now to becoming a true liability in only 5 weeks. Intensive training covering such varied areas of self-offense as:
-Using wing sauce as a weapon
-Breaking a beer bottle without slicing and dicing your hands
- Accurate projectile vomiting
- Flicking a lit cigarette into someones face
- “Getting the fuck outta there”

Classes will be held every Monday, Weds, and Friday- with Fridays being reserved for critiquing failed technique in the classic and award winning movie Roadhouse. You’ll come to class, get wasted drunk, and mix it up with other like-minded individuals. Master Ryan will show you the path to true ‘trouble maker.’ Only when you reach that point will you be able to tell that douche-bag how ridiculous his shirt/hat/girlfriend is with the confidence that only comes from being trained as a drunk fighter. If you aspire to bar-flydom, this class is a must have!

Classes start at $50 a week + a 12 pack per class.

* Location: Tempe
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1164655647

found at Arguably Useless.

Westboro Baptist is the group of crazy, homophobic, racist assholes that protest soldier funerals and think 9/11 was awesome. Well, it appears they’ve discovered how to film a music video and decided to treat us all to a fucked up version of the choir from Sister Act, minus any black people, of course, there’s no way they’d let that shit fly.  Prepare to hate.

Via

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CollegeHumor is getting scary…first the Entourage video and now this? It’s like they’re in my mind.

How To Deal With A Creepy Coworker – [Blog Of Hilarity]

10 Pictures That Might Make You Want To Skip The Wedding – [Big Stupid Idiot]

5 Awesome Videos Of Failed Marriage Proposals – [Uncoached]

Michael Bay’s Doodles On The Set Of Transformers 2 – [Holy Taco]

The Shady Agendas Behind 5 Popular Conspiracy Theories – [Cracked]

Mexican Navy Disc0vers Cocaine Being Smuggled In The Bodies Of 20 Frozen Sharks – [Daily Mail]

This has got to be one of the most overpriced bad ideas I’ve ever heard of, via Times Online:

“The first “anti-stab” knife is to go on sale in Britain, designed to work as normal in the kitchen but to be ineffective as a weapon.

The knife has a rounded edge instead of a point and will snag on clothing and skin to make it more difficult to stab someone.

He said: “It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can’t inflict a fatal wound. Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.”

Yeah, except if you use the actual blade.  This piece of shit is $80 dollars, and you’re paying all that money when there’s already an anti-stab knife out there.

ta-da!

$13.99 for a decent one. Moving on…

Thanks to imtsbro for bringing this to my attention.

I got an earful today from my buddy back home for not representing the DMV (DC, Murryland, and Virginia) and basically turning into a San Diego brahboy that dwells in hip-hop’s past.   I don’t keep up on much new hip-hop, I usually rely on Janksy to keep me in the loop of anything decent.  However, I’ve been following Wale for a while, first from him popping up all over the streetwear blogs I read, then from the mixtapes he was dropping a couple summers back.  So, to show some love and to appease D-Mot before his head explodes, here’s the new Wale video, shot all around the District including the infamous Ben’s Chili Bowl on U Street.

Via