This Valentine’s Day, while shopping for that special someone, take a moment to think about what you want your gift to say. If it’s “you’re so alone that there isn’t a single person around you that will hug you, so here are some stuffed animal arms to clip around your ridiculously lonely waist”, then this is the gift for you.
So not only is this person so pathetic they’re incapable of receiving an embrace from a living creature, but now they get to spend Valentine’s Day looking like they murdered Mickey Mouse, parading his limbs about as a point of pride like some sort of primitive hunter. The only utility I can see this thing having is that it looks like it’s made out of pretty absorbent material, so it’s probably good at wiping up tears and Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. So yeah…there’s that.