High Definite/Links

See the rest at Pleated-Jeans.

6 Abandoned Places That Will Make Awesome Supervillain Lairs – [Cracked]

10 Things I Remember About Middle School Dances – [BuzzFeed]

Meme Watch: Story Time Jesus - [Uproxx]

Obama’s War on Pot – [Rolling Stone]

But over the past year, the Obama administration has quietly unleashed a multi­agency crackdown on medical cannabis that goes far beyond anything undertaken by George W. Bush. The feds are busting growers who operate in full compliance with state laws, vowing to seize the property of anyone who dares to even rent to legal pot dispensaries, and threatening to imprison state employees responsible for regulating medical marijuana. With more than 100 raids on pot dispensaries during his first three years, Obama is now on pace to exceed Bush’s record for medical-marijuana busts. “There’s no question that Obama’s the worst president on medical marijuana,” says Rob Kampia, executive director of the Marijuana Policy Project. “He’s gone from first to worst.”

Thieves Loot Greece’s Ancient Olympia Museum – [Daily Mail]

Two masked armed robbers tied up a female museum guard and stole several dozen artifacts from Greece’s Ancient Olympia Museum, which houses one of the most important collections of ancient Greek antiquities.

Police said two robbers wearing hoods broke into the museum at around 7.30am (5.30am GMT) today before overpowering the security guard  and using hammers to smash display cases, taking away between 60 and 70 items.

‘According to the results of the investigation so far, unknown persons immobilised the guard of the museum and removed bronze and clay objects from the displays, as well as a gold ring,’ a police statement said.

The Onion

7 Horrifying Historical Origins of Famous Corporate Logos – [Cracked]

11 Speculations on Which Character Will Be Killed Off on Community – [11 Points]

Every Bart Simpson Chalkboard Quote, Ever – [NextRound]

The Rise of Jeremy Lin – [NewsFeed]

The FBI Might Cut Off the Internet For Millions of People on March 8th – [Gizmodo]

In an unprecedented move, the FBI may cut off Internet access to millions of people on March 8th to try to rid the country of a Trojan. Millions of computers are infected worldwide—maybe even yours.

Kim Dotcom, Pirate King – [Business Week]

Is Megaupload’s founder a criminal mastermind, or the world’s most entertaining scapegoat? A file-sharing wizard’s ridiculous rise and fall.

Pic Zach Dionne | Via

Ghetto Hikes: “I’m 28. I have a full time job leading urban kids on nature hikes. I simply write down shit they say.”

Thanks JC.

Mister Cee closes out his Throwback at Noon on Hot97 today with a tribute to the one and only Lamont Coleman.

RIP.

Download it here. | Flex

6 Terrifying User Agreements You’ve Probably Accepted – [Cracked]

7 of the Worst Marriage Proposal Fails of All Time – [Guyism]

As Many As 356 Killed In Honduras Prison Fire – [AP]

A fire started by an inmate tore through an aging and severely overcrowded Honduran prison, burning and suffocating inmates in their locked cells and killing as many as 356 people in one of the world’s deadliest prison fires in a century, authorities said Wednesday.

The local governor, a former prison employee, told reporters that an inmate called her moments before the fire and said he was going to set the 1940s-era facility on fire and kill everyone inside.

Survivors told investigators that an unidentified inmate screamed “We will all die here!” as he lit fire to his bedding late Tuesday night in the prison in the central town of Comayagua. The lockup housed people convicted of serious crimes such as homicide and armed robbery.

Man Suffers Heart Attack At Heart Attack Grill – [Fox 5 Vegas]

The Heart Attack Grill in downtown Las Vegas lived up to its name Saturday night, when a customer dining on a “triple bypass burger” suffered an apparent heart attack.

The gentleman who suffered the heart attack was in the middle of eating a Triple Bypass burger when he began experiencing the symptoms. Despite the clinical atmosphere, Basso is not actually a medical doctor, so he called 911. Paramedics and EMTs arrived in moments.

“The gentleman could barely talk,” said Basso. “He was sweating, suffering. Anyone with an ounce of compassion would’ve felt for him.”

Basso tells FOX5 he has heard the man is alive and recuperating. His name is still unknown.

Jim Gaffigan Will Release His Next Stand-Up Comedy Special Online – [Uproxx]

Well you had to know that the enormous success of Louis C.K.’s online comedy special would inspire imitators. Comedian Jim Gaffigan, perhaps best known for his Hot Pockets material, announced on his website last night that he’ll be the next to go that route. According to Deadline, the special “will be taped in Washington DC on February 25, and is targeted for release in April.” Like Louis C.K., Gaffigan will sell his show for five bucks, with a dollar from every purchase going to a charity to aid wounded veterans and their families.

Athens In Flames (Photos) – [In Focus]

Pic via

The 5 Weirdest Reasons We Have Sex (According to Science) – [Cracked]

The 7 Most Brutal Valentine’s Day Murders – [Ranker]

10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Love and Sex – [io9]

John Fugelsang Tweets The Love Story Of His Monk Father & Nun Mother – [Chirpstory] (via)

2012 World Press Photo Contest Winners (Photos) – [The Big Picture]

Pic via

7 Theories on Time That Would Make Doc Brown’s Head Explode – [Cracked]

11 Mind-Boggling Results From a Nationwide Doomsday Survey – [11 Points]

Whitney Houston’s Family Told Death Due To Rx NOT Drowning – [TMZ]

Whitney Houston’s family was told by L.A. County Coroner officials … the singer did not die from drowning, but rather from what appears to be a combination of Xanax and other prescription drugs mixed with alcohol … this according to family sources.

We’re told Coroner’s officials informed the family there was not enough water in Whitney’s lungs to lead to the conclusion that she drowned.

Why Does Adele’s “Someone Like You” Make Everyone Cry? – [WSJ]

What explains the magic of Adele’s song? Though personal experience and culture play into individual reactions, researchers have found that certain features of music are consistently associated with producing strong emotions in listeners. Combined with heartfelt lyrics and a powerhouse voice, these structures can send reward signals to our brains that rival any other pleasure.

MIT Launches Free Online “Fully Automated” Course – [BBC]

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), one of the world’s top-rated universities, has announced its first free course which can be studied and assessed completely online.

An electronics course, beginning in March, will be the first prototype of an online project, known as MITx.

The interactive course is designed to be fully automated, with successful students receiving a certificate.

Pic via

The Composites uses police composite sketch software to produce portraits of literary characters based off of their descriptions in the text. Above is their take on Humbert Humbert from Nabokov’s Lolita:

Gloomy good looks…Clean-cut jaw, muscular hand, deep sonorous voice…broad shoulder…I was, and still am, despite mes malheurs, an exceptionally handsome male; slow-moving, tall, with soft dark hair and a gloomy but all the more seductive cast of demeanor. Exceptional virility often reflects in the subject’s displayable features a sullen and congested something that pertains to what he has to conceal. And this was my case…But instead I am lanky, big-boned, wooly-chested Humbert Humbert, with thick black eyebrows…A cesspoolful of rotting monsters behind his slow boyish smile…aging ape eyes…Humbert’s face might twitch with neuralgia.

Via