High Definite/Politics

Colbert For President of The United States of South Carolina

by 4 years, 10 months ago Contribute

After learning he polled higher than Jon Huntsman in South Carolina, Stephen Colbert’s Super PAC made the following statement:

BASIC CABLE, USA – Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, an FEC registered Super PAC, today announced the addition of Jon Stewart to its executive board (along with the subtraction of Stephen Colbert).
With this change the group, which had been known colloquially as Colbert Super PAC, can now be referred to as The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC. They have already begun updating all of their letterhead with sharpie.

“I am excited to take the reins of this completely independent organization, and begin to air ads in South Carolina,” said New President and Noncommunication Director Jon Stewart. “But I want to be clear: Stephen and I have in no way have worked out a series of morse-code blinks to convey information with each other on our respective shows.”

Colbert is currently exploring a run for President of the United States of South Carolina. Because of this, he cannot be associated with any Super PACs, although he has asked Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow to forward any periodicals of an “adult nature.” *
Americans A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow is an independent, expenditure-only committee founded by Stephen Colbert in the wake of the Supreme Court’s Citizens United ruling, then handed down to Jon Stewart like a pair of old dungarees.

Update: Now with video.


Categories: Actual News, Politics, Videos

Primary Elections Explained

by 4 years, 11 months ago Contribute

C. G. P. Grey explains “how primaries, caucuses, super delegates and more work in United States Primary Elections.”

CGPGrey | Via | Previously: 2012 & The End Of The World

Categories: Politics, Videos

Bad Lip Reading: Rick Perry’s “Strong” Ad

by 4 years, 11 months ago 1 Response

Rick Perry’s record-breakingly disliked and over-parodied ad finally gets the Bad Lip Reading treatment, which is somehow less ridiculous than the original.

Funny or Die

Categories: Politics, Videos

Rick Perry’s Debate Blooper

by 5 years, 0 months ago Contribute

Rick Perry’s campaign took a serious, maybe even fatal, blow last night after forgetting the name of the third government agency he wants to get rid of and actually saying “oops” in a Republican debate. Despite the fact that he “stepped in it“, Perry will continue his campaign, starting with a damage control media tour this morning and an appearance on Letterman tonight.

Video courtesy of BuzzFeed.

Categories: Actual News, Politics, Videos

Bad Lip Reading: Rick Perry

by 5 years, 2 months ago Contribute

I finally get Rick Perry.

Bad Lip Reading | Previously

Categories: Politics, Videos

Rock-Paper-Scissors: 2011 Style

by 5 years, 3 months ago Contribute

The game that decides everything, updated for our elected officials.

By Christoph Niemann for New York Times Magazine | Via

Categories: Artsy Sh*t, Politics

Warren Buffett: “Stop Coddling The Super-Rich”

by 5 years, 3 months ago 1 Response

“My friends and I have been coddled long enough by a billionaire-friendly Congress. It’s time for our government to get serious about shared sacrifice.” – Warren Buffett for the New York Times

Obama agrees.

Pic: White House Flickr


by 5 years, 3 months ago Contribute

The second ad paid for by the Colbert Super PAC:

Colbert Super PAC released its second TV ad in advance of the Ames Iowa Straw Poll in support of Texas Governor Rick Parry, who is not running. The commercial, entitled “Behind the Green Corn” scolds outside Super PACs for airing ads with graphic footage of uncensored corn-shucking.

“I’ve never been to Iowa, and have no plans to go,” said Stephen Colbert, President and Summer Intern of Colbert Super PAC. “But I know that Iowans are good, wholesome people who will not be swayed by these outside groups’ underhanded tactics. They would much rather be swayed our overhanded tactics. That’s why our new ad features not just corn shucking, but ear-sizzling, hot buttered, below-the-corn-belt action that appeals to Iowans’ basest kernel instincts.”

ColbertSuperPAC | Via

Categories: Politics, Videos

Episode IV: A New Hope

by 5 years, 3 months ago Contribute

The first ad produced by Stephen Colbert’s Colbert Super PAC that will start running in local Iowa markets tonight:

Colbert Super PAC released a TV ad today in advance of the Quadrennial Ames Iowa Straw Poll – held this year in Ames, Iowa. The ad, entitled “Episode IV: A New Hope” urges Iowans to write in the name of Texas Governor Rick Parry.

Thanks to last year’s Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United, Super PACs can receive and spend unlimited amounts of money – as long as they do not coordinate with a particular candidate. Because that would be wrong. Also, illegal. Currently, there are seven different Super PACs vying to become the primary recipient of that sweet unlimited Parry cash.

“I called dibs on Rick Parry a long time ago,” said Stephen Colbert, President and Assistant Equipment Manager for Colbert Super PAC. “I recognized that he’s got the tough talk, the cowboy boots, and the history-of-shooting-coyotes-during-morning-jogs that our country needs. So if anybody is going to be taking unlimited donations and then not be coordinating with his campaign, it’s going to be not us. So to prove we’re truly uncoordinated, we’re asking voters to write in Parry with an A – as in America, IowA, or PresidAnt. You can feel confident he’s not asking us to do that.”

ColbertSuperPAC | Via

Categories: Politics, Videos