High Definite/Retarded People

Topical humor, razor sharp wit; this is why he’s a comedian.

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This should be the opening line on the bill they receive for this shit.

Thanks Joe.

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Whenever I randomly kick high school kids outside of Starbucks or next to the bagel place…its because of shit like this.  You brought this on yourselves.

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Just when you thought all this vampire/werewolf shit couldn’t get any dumber…

I have no words to describe how retarded this is, so I’ll use the timeless college technique of using movie quotes to express myself.

When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur.  I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world.  I made my arms short and I roamed the back yard.  I chased the neighborhood cats.  I growled and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me, and one day my dad said “Bobby you are 17, it’s time to throw childish things aside” and I said “OK Pop”, but he didn’t really say that he said that “Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job”. – Dr. Robert Doback – Step Brothers

Replace “dinosaur” with “werewolf” and “Bobby” with “stupid-ass emo-kid rejects” and that about sums it up.

You have got to be shitting me.

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Traumatizing Your Kids 101.

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Graph Jam | Via

LandlineTV continues their series of kids reenacting moronic television with their version of The Hills.  The saddest part is they didn’t even have to write a new script.

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