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High Definite/Stupid Fucking Ideas

SOPA & PIPA: Why The Internet Sucks Today

by Endswell 21 days ago. View Comments

I’ve posted my stance on these useless, paid-for pieces of shit before, so I won’t bore you with it again. However, I thought I’d provide a quick rundown of pertinent information in regards to the bills and the actions of sites far more important than this one to combat them.

I will continue to post as usual today on The High Definite, partially because I get bored at my real job and that’s why I do this in the first place, but mostly because I don’t want to disappoint the 3 of you that read this site.

Take action. Now.

“How I Met Your Mother” Is From The Future

by Endswell 7 months, 7 days ago View Comments

If the ads for Kevin James’s Zookeeper aren’t annoying enough, a Consumerist reader noticed the powers that be decided to waste marketing dollars on digitally inserting an ad into a How I Met Your Mother rerun.

Also: That’s enough, Kevin James.

Consumerist | Via

How To Push Someone Into The Pool

by Endswell 12 months, 2 days ago View Comments

Literally.

Via

TLC Supports Child Abuse

by Endswell 1 year, 0 months ago View Comments

People lose their shit when a parent spanks their kid (even though it works), yet TLC’s disgusting circus on child beauty pageant contestants and their fucking insane mothers, Toddlers and Tiaras, can show a 5-year-old going through an eyebrow waxing on national television while her childhood-raping mother consoles her with the compassion of an Abu Ghraib prison guard.

Fuck this show, the parents, and the network that broadcasts it.  The end.

Via

Not Cool, Neil Summers.

by Endswell 1 year, 1 month ago View Comments

Neil Summers, Royal Marine Commando, award-winning inventor, father to five daughters, and a giant crotch-kicking pussy, invented the Kick Dummy, a self-defense tool with the primary purpose of improving your ability to kick people in the groin.

If you happen to be confronted by an angry Luchador with no arms, you’ll be ready.

Duncan Hines Hip-Hop Cupcakes

by Endswell 1 year, 2 months ago View Comments

Blackface glaze, oversized lips….

Damn, Duncan Hines.

“Watch them sing” here. | Via

Categories: Stupid Fucking Ideas

Karen Owen’s Senior Thesis Goes Viral

by Endswell 1 year, 4 months ago View Comments

Duke University alumni Karen Owen sent a “Fuck List” in Powerpoint form to three of her friends last May, ranking various guys at Duke on their ability to bone.  However, since we all know you can’t send anything to “just 3 friends”, one of them forwarded it on, which lead to its inevitable viral state.  A lot of athletes are on the list, including members of Duke University’s already controversial lacrosse team. Here were the criteria:

Deadspin has the document in full here.  It gets pret-ty saucy.

“Burn A Quran Day” Commercial

by Endswell 1 year, 5 months ago View Comments

First rule of marketing: Know your audience.

Via | Context

Optical Illusion Children Speed Bumps Sound Like A Great Idea

by Endswell 1 year, 5 months ago View Comments

West Vancouver officials are testing out new types of speed bumps today as part of a $15k  safety program that will run this week. The speed bumps use the Trompe-l’œil technique to give the appearance of a 3D child in the vehicle’s path as it approaches the speed bump.  From Discover Magazine:

In what sounds like a terrifying experience, the girl’s elongated form appears to rise from the ground as cars approach, reaching 3D realism at around 100 feet, and then returning to 2D distortion once cars pass that ideal viewing distance. Its designers created the image to give drivers who travel at the street’s recommended 18 miles per hour (30 km per hour) enough time to stop before hitting Pavement Patty–acknowledging the spectacle before they continue to safely roll over her.

Nothing promotes vehicular safety like desensitizing the act of running over children with your car.  I’m sure this will end well.