Although it’s obviously too badass to be up for sale, this working concept, which will be on display at next week’s Cycle Show at Earls Court in London, is definitely real enough to make your fixed-gear bike cower like a little bitch somewhere.  From the Daily Mail:

Named the BOND (Built of Notorious Deterrents) Bike, the cycle is the creation of insurer ilovemybike.co.uk, which was inspired to build it after asking 800 cyclists to state their least favourite aspect of life on two wheels.

The flame-thrower was included as 52per cent of cyclists named ‘cars and lorries passing too close’ as their number one complaint.

So the bike’s handlebars are fitted with a specially-designed flame-thrower to fire towards vehicles that get too close.

A quarter cited poor road conditions such as potholes as a problem, so the bike is fitted with an all-terrain caterpillar track in place of its rear wheel.

With 7 per cent worried most about their bicycle being stolen, the bike is fitted with an ejector seat to catch out any thief that gets past a conventional lock.

Also, 2 per cent of respondents felt cold weather conditions were the most irksome aspect of cycling, so the bike carries a ski blade that can be interchanged with the front wheel.

Here’s a video of it in action:

Via

“Ripple Effect Tea Table” by Korean industrial designer Jeonghwa Seo and Hanna Chung is a reflection of eastern mentality towards social relationships.

From the product site:

Easterners commonly believe that small changes of individual person or objects can be a big impact on the whole, which lead them to modest and totalitarian social culture. This social tendency, which described as a ‘ripple effect’ in psychological term, here in translated into tea ceremony.

The water layer on the tabletop makes the ripples by the movements of users. Tea plate floats on the water while drinking tea. One’s action can cause an impact on the whole situation on this table.

Through this project we wanted to emphasize the importance of considering mentality, when designers deal with culture as a context of design. Considering the cultural psychology will provide deeper understanding of each other’s culture in the globalized world.

HannaSeo | Via

If you’re going to parade about in a costume and fight (or cause) water-based crime, this is without a doubt the vehicle you should have in mind when doing so.  From Dvice:

A 260 horsepower engine pushes the Seabreacher X through the water at 50 miles per hour on the surface and 25 mph when it’s diving. That means it has enough speed that it can jump a whopping 12 feet into the air when it gets going.

Other notable features: 1) It can also spin in the water 2) It looks like a fucking shark.

Seabreacher

Marina Bay Sands Resort, Singapore.  150-meters, 55-stories up.  Way cooler than your pool.

More on it here.

From Born Rich:

This luxurious undersea vehicle is designed to explore the deep seas in complete safety and comfort. With an overall length of 66.5 m, the U-010 unit is a unique vessel for its quality to travel on the surface as well as underwater by simply passing from diesel to electric propulsion. Equipped with integrated systems of stabilization, the passage on the sea surface is slow and comfortable even under the worst conditions.

More pics here.

The Hundreds: Summer 2010 Collection

Social Primer x Brooks Brothers Bowties

Crooks & Castles: Summer 2010 Collection

Garbstore x Calabrese: Weekend Bag

Us Versus Them: “Fuck BP”/Lube Job Tee

The Chumbuddy: 100% hand-sewn plush predator. $200.  Get one here.

Via

Buy one here | Via

If you spend a good bit of time lounging on water and have always wanted a craft that was so badass that you’re forced to constantly beat people off so you can keep all the awesomeness to yourself, here you go.  Sorry, that might have been worded poorly…or PERFECTLY.  From Uncrate:

This Interactive Recreational Entertainment Vessel seats up to 10 people inside its circular decks, and features a central low smoke charcoal grill that can be swapped for a number of other centerpieces, an outboard electric 2-5 hp motor with 8-10 hours of battery life, 4 storage bins, an integrated umbrella, and an optional audio package with marine approved hi-fidelity 500 watt speakers, amplifier, satellite radio and a MP3 connection. Lest you feel selfish for dropping 24 large on a floating bar, you can rest easy knowing it’s made in America from 45% reclaimed material, and is 80% recyclable.

I’m gonna need some new pants…and a nap.

Buy one here.  It’ll be $24,000.

With floods in the American southeast and killer tropical storms raping Asia…it’s a safe bet to assume Mother Nature wants us dead by drowning.  In order to be better prepared for these flash fluids, I would highly advise you to invest in a Citibot Folding Kayak from Folbot.  Via Bachelor Guy:

One of their most space-saving models, the Citibot, is a sleek one-man kayak made specifically for the city dweller that doesn’t even have the luxury of a walk-in closet. This thing will fit just about anywhere. You can cram it in your closet or shove it under your bed… and at only 24-lbs stored in in its backpack you can carry it anywhere your granola-loving heart desires.

The Citibot is rugged, sleek and takes only a few minutes to assemble (the video below says 12.5 minutes… but I gotta figure that’s after a few practice runs), to its full 10-ft length. And if you’re into hitting the skies to find your next adventure, the Citibot is airline checkable. That means you won’t get anally compromised for attempting to travel with a traditional kayak – not to mention you could save yourself about $200 in baggage fees.

Also great if you want to do some urban Kayaking and need to make a less cumbersome getaway.

Get one here.  It’ll be $1200 bucks.

Spaberry basically built a mobile boning tub that you can move out of your neighbor’s line of sight if things actually get that far with an actual woman. Via Dvice:

The Spaberry just needs a 110V outlet and some water. Fill it up with 125 gallons, heat it up, and you and a friend are all set for a soak. It comes loaded with jets, lights and drink holders, allowing for the perfect romantic evening.

The dude in the picture above either looks like he just got off or he’s taking a huge leak.  Either way, looks like it works.

Get one here.  It’ll be 5 grand.

There are few things that would lead me to a life (or random afternoon) of crime.  Acquiring $4,000 for this arcade/keg mashup of badassery would be one of them.  From Uncrate:

“This arcade game-styled machine features a fully functioning kegerator in its belly, with room for a 5 gallon keg kept cool by a solid-state thermoelectric cooling system. In addition, it sports a gaming-ready PC, pre-loaded with 104 games such as Asteroids, Mortal Kombat II, and 1942. Other features include a 24-inch LCD with protective overlay, an authentic backlit marquee, a 2.1 sound system with powered sub, two complete arcade controllers and a trackball mounted in a custom aluminum panel, a side-mounted tap with interchangeable handle, and more.”

If you didn’t just mess up your work clothes a little… I’m not sure we can be friends anymore.

Buy one here.

A design firm in Amsterdam were presumably sitting around baked off their asses and came up with one of the greatest advancements in paper since oragami. From Dvice:

“We’re looking for more realism in our serious time-wasting around here, sick and tired of tossing mere pieces of balled up paper into our garbage-can basketball goal. Here’s a pad of special paper that solves that problem so well it won a European Design Award.

On the front, it’s just a mild-mannered stack of lined notebook paper, but look on the other side. Take your pick: soccer ball, tennis ball, baseball, football, and more — wad up all your notes and put them to work in the sportiest of ways.”

Just be aware that even though your paper looks like a basketball, if you miss the easy 3 foot shot you’re still going to look like an uncoordinated twit.  My only suggestion would be to make rock versions so you could throw them at coworkers that are pissing you off during meetings without getting fired like my first job out of college.  Rocks are a great way to end arguments.

Tobias Fränzel designed a door with a fold out ping pong table built into it, allowing the owner to play ping pong/beer pong at their convenience, then fold that bitch right back up into the door for easy storage.  It’s now showing up at design conventions all over the country and is expected to be available for purchase shortly.

From | Thanks Julie from Dallas…who has now made the rest of you look lazy.

There are certain moments in a man’s life when he sees something so beautiful, so breathtaking, that he stands there in awe for what seems like an eternity trying to figure out how something so perfect come into existence.  I had one of those moments this morning.  Ladies and (mostly) gentlemen, The Man Wall:

The fully integrated unit comes complete with four TV’s, a full-size built-in beer keg with refrigerator and tap, a live sports ticker, a microwave oven, two cigar humidors, a five-speaker home theater surround sound system, I-Pod docking station and a wine rack. The innovation is the brainchild of two designers who saw a gap in the rising popularity of “Man Rooms.”

Shakespeare himself couldn’t have composed a more beautiful string of words.  More detail and pictures after the jump:

From the press release:

Innovative technology separates the futuristic unit from anything on the market, boasting a matrix splitter that allows all four TV’s to be controlled by one remote. The enthusiastic sports fan can watch four different games at one time or one game on all four TV’s. Sleek looking panels hide the cable boxes and gaming units while a high-tech remote eye makes wires and cables virtually invisible.

The surround sound system packs a punch with a booming Kelton Subwoofer with dual diameter structure, Whisper-Mode technology and wireless rear speakers, all designed to deliver big sound and eliminate clutter. It also features a 1080p up-conversion function that converts standard definition images from DVD sources to high definition images.

Add a built-in Universal Dock for your iPod, a 100 watt microwave oven, two 50-cigar humidors with built-in gauges, a wine rack and a seven foot wide sports ticker continuously updating scores and you can see why this is the perfect gadget for the consummate male.

The price for man cave perfection is $14,900 plus shipping.  Get one here.

Found at Uncrate.

The Italians decided to make Americans look like clueless cavemen once again, by sexing up the standard design for a grill and creating this beautiful piece.  From Acquire Mag:

“Alessi’s Barbicu is a versatile grill with various configurations that makes it perfect as a portable barbecue for the park or accessorize it with the optional trolley and cutting board for a perfect backyard setup. The Barbicu can be lit with your choice of charcoal or gas and is offered with other optional accessories such as a windshield, griddle, and carry case.”

Simple, clean, functional, and with more positions than a yoga class, which include a friggin hibachi mode.  Your grill feels soo sexually threatened right now.

Get one here.

If you have $500 bucks to spend and live near any body of water (lake, beach, friggin swimming pool, whatever), then you are in need of one of the most kickass recreational watercraft available.  Found at Uncrate:

“Built on a powder-coated steel tube frame, the watercraft sports two inflatable 9-ft pontoons, a 400-lb capacity, and around 20 pockets for gear. The packable boat also boasts a 3-position seat, 7-ft aluminum oars, 2 insulated drink holders, adjustable foot rests, rear storage basket, anchor system, and a 6-position rod holder.”

That’s a whole lotta badassery for one paragraph.  The only things it appears to be missing is a flat surface for a three-way and a mount for a .50 cal. Get one at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Whiskey, like sweet revenge, is best served cold..and with rocks.  Teroforma has taken this idealogy and applied it to cooling Whiskey, while removing the watery residue from using pussy-ass ice cubes.  As an added bonus, they serve as great last minute projectiles if you stir yourself up into a drunken tirade. From their website:

“More mellow than ice, our natural soapstone Whisky Stones™ will cool your next dram just enough to take the edge off without diluting its perfectly balanced flavors. Milled exclusively for Teroforma in Vermont by some of the oldest soapstone workshops in the US, simply chill the stones in the freezer, add 3 or so to your glass of spirits, let stand for 5 minutes and enjoy!”

Please note that these probably won’t work with a mixed beverage of a larger volume, and they won’t fit in a cocktail glass, so unless you’re drinking straight whiskey out of a normal whiskey glass, you’ll probably have to cool your drinks with ice and talk about Sex and the City like all your other female friends.

 Get ‘em here.

Our economy, once a giant toe of the global economic footprint, has obviously taken a turn for the worst in the past couple of years. With more and more homes being foreclosed and more and more Americans being forced to live in tent cities or shanty towns due to those foreclosures, I figured I’d provide a heads up on some serious camping gear that can soften the blow of the transition from your home to your new transient lifestyle, if you happen to be unfortunate enough to find youself in such a precarious predicament.

1. Eureka Luxury Combo Tent

If you’re fortunate enough to have your family stick around, this is by far one of the best ways to repay them. This bad boy has 3 rooms, 3 doors, sleeps 8-12 people, and most importantly, privacy for intimate moments. These moments will be with yourself, of course, because your wife won’t be “in the mood” until you can get a roof over her head that can’t be slashed with a knife, but at least you can avoid providing emotional scar tissue for your kids.

Buy one here.

2. Texsport Deluxe Camp Shower/Shelter Combo

Just because you’re forced to live like a hobo doesn’t mean that you always have to smell like one, and just because you’re in a camp with a shit-ton of other unfortunate souls doesn’t mean you need to stand around in front of them spraying yourself with a hose like the poor sap in the tent next to you. This deluxe shower/shelter combo is rust proof, includes a 5-gallon camp shower, and a carry-bag, all with a combined weight of about 21 pounds.

Buy one here.

3. The Original Kamp Rite Oversized Tent Cot

It’s more than likely your significant others are going to be at their mother’s house or at a friend’s house instead of enjoying the good ol’ outdoors with you. So, for the man that’s on the go and forced to go solo, the Tent Cot might be a good fit. It’s easy to use, comes assembled, and keeps you about a foot off the ground when you’re sleeping so you don’t have to worry about a snake or other ground-dwelling rodents inviting themselves into your sleeping bag. If you happen to run into a camp-lady and things get steamy, you might need to take it to her tent because I doubt this thing could support two depressed adults trying to madly hump away their hatred of The Man.

Buy one here.

4. The Roper Mobile Duros Tablet PC

You don’t want to use the “computer centers” that these camps are setting up for two reasons.

1. You don’t want to have to wait in line to use the computers while some asshole in front of you is just using his minutes to check out more pictures of fucking cats with misspelled words on them.

2. It’s awkward looking at internet porn in a community computer room. (Again, probably because you’re going to be alone and lonely.)

To alleviate this problem, the Duros 8404 Ruggedized Tablet PC is tough, functional, and has all the camping features you could want like GPS and whatnot. Perfect for working on your resume or sending anonymous threatening e-mails to your former employer.

Product Site.

5. Tool Logic Survival Card With Fire Starter

Here’s hoping your time spent in foreclosure is short-lived.  Until that time, this card will hold you over.  Since none of your credit cards mean shit anymore, you can dump ‘em and put this in their place.  It has  a magnesium alloy fire starter, a loud signal (rape) whistle, plus a brilliant red LED flashlight. There’s also a tweezer and toothpick and a hole for lanyard attachment.  Most importantly, it has a palm-sized stainless steel blade in case you need to sneak into the next guy’s tent to steal shit, or in case you have to shank the guy trying to break into your tent to steal your shit because, let’s face it, everyone around you is probably just as desperate as you are. 

But it here.

Best of luck, seriously, this housing situation is fucked up.

Made by Varier Furniture, this chair is the closest you’ll ever come to falling asleep while watching golf in space.  Via Ubergizmo:

It retails for a jaw-dropping $1,200 (and not even a single diamond to be found, to boot) and will be extremely limited in quantity. Perhaps after giving this chair a go will people figure out that $1,200 is a steal, since it places one’s feet above the heart in a fully reclined position, which is as close as it gets for the layman when it comes to zero gravity. There will only be 250 of these special edition black leather Gravity chairs floating around (pardon the pun) worldwide.”

Zero gravity seems like an odd sensation to want to recreate while napping.  I’d prefer something more along the lines of the Between Bewbs Balans Chair or a NotHavingToWorkAnymoreBecauseYou’reRichAllOfASudden Balans Chair