High Definite/Wares And Sitch

Spaberry basically built a mobile boning tub that you can move out of your neighbor’s line of sight if things actually get that far with an actual woman. Via Dvice:

The Spaberry just needs a 110V outlet and some water. Fill it up with 125 gallons, heat it up, and you and a friend are all set for a soak. It comes loaded with jets, lights and drink holders, allowing for the perfect romantic evening.

The dude in the picture above either looks like he just got off or he’s taking a huge leak.  Either way, looks like it works.

Get one here.  It’ll be 5 grand.

There are few things that would lead me to a life (or random afternoon) of crime.  Acquiring $4,000 for this arcade/keg mashup of badassery would be one of them.  From Uncrate:

“This arcade game-styled machine features a fully functioning kegerator in its belly, with room for a 5 gallon keg kept cool by a solid-state thermoelectric cooling system. In addition, it sports a gaming-ready PC, pre-loaded with 104 games such as Asteroids, Mortal Kombat II, and 1942. Other features include a 24-inch LCD with protective overlay, an authentic backlit marquee, a 2.1 sound system with powered sub, two complete arcade controllers and a trackball mounted in a custom aluminum panel, a side-mounted tap with interchangeable handle, and more.”

If you didn’t just mess up your work clothes a little… I’m not sure we can be friends anymore.

Buy one here.

A design firm in Amsterdam were presumably sitting around baked off their asses and came up with one of the greatest advancements in paper since oragami. From Dvice:

“We’re looking for more realism in our serious time-wasting around here, sick and tired of tossing mere pieces of balled up paper into our garbage-can basketball goal. Here’s a pad of special paper that solves that problem so well it won a European Design Award.

On the front, it’s just a mild-mannered stack of lined notebook paper, but look on the other side. Take your pick: soccer ball, tennis ball, baseball, football, and more — wad up all your notes and put them to work in the sportiest of ways.”

Just be aware that even though your paper looks like a basketball, if you miss the easy 3 foot shot you’re still going to look like an uncoordinated twit.  My only suggestion would be to make rock versions so you could throw them at coworkers that are pissing you off during meetings without getting fired like my first job out of college.  Rocks are a great way to end arguments.

Tobias Fränzel designed a door with a fold out ping pong table built into it, allowing the owner to play ping pong/beer pong at their convenience, then fold that bitch right back up into the door for easy storage.  It’s now showing up at design conventions all over the country and is expected to be available for purchase shortly.

From | Thanks Julie from Dallas…who has now made the rest of you look lazy.

There are certain moments in a man’s life when he sees something so beautiful, so breathtaking, that he stands there in awe for what seems like an eternity trying to figure out how something so perfect come into existence.  I had one of those moments this morning.  Ladies and (mostly) gentlemen, The Man Wall:

The fully integrated unit comes complete with four TV’s, a full-size built-in beer keg with refrigerator and tap, a live sports ticker, a microwave oven, two cigar humidors, a five-speaker home theater surround sound system, I-Pod docking station and a wine rack. The innovation is the brainchild of two designers who saw a gap in the rising popularity of “Man Rooms.”

Shakespeare himself couldn’t have composed a more beautiful string of words.  More detail and pictures after the jump:

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The Italians decided to make Americans look like clueless cavemen once again, by sexing up the standard design for a grill and creating this beautiful piece.  From Acquire Mag:

“Alessi’s Barbicu is a versatile grill with various configurations that makes it perfect as a portable barbecue for the park or accessorize it with the optional trolley and cutting board for a perfect backyard setup. The Barbicu can be lit with your choice of charcoal or gas and is offered with other optional accessories such as a windshield, griddle, and carry case.”

Simple, clean, functional, and with more positions than a yoga class, which include a friggin hibachi mode.  Your grill feels soo sexually threatened right now.

Get one here.

If you have $500 bucks to spend and live near any body of water (lake, beach, friggin swimming pool, whatever), then you are in need of one of the most kickass recreational watercraft available.  Found at Uncrate:

“Built on a powder-coated steel tube frame, the watercraft sports two inflatable 9-ft pontoons, a 400-lb capacity, and around 20 pockets for gear. The packable boat also boasts a 3-position seat, 7-ft aluminum oars, 2 insulated drink holders, adjustable foot rests, rear storage basket, anchor system, and a 6-position rod holder.”

That’s a whole lotta badassery for one paragraph.  The only things it appears to be missing is a flat surface for a three-way and a mount for a .50 cal. Get one at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Whiskey, like sweet revenge, is best served cold..and with rocks.  Teroforma has taken this idealogy and applied it to cooling Whiskey, while removing the watery residue from using pussy-ass ice cubes.  As an added bonus, they serve as great last minute projectiles if you stir yourself up into a drunken tirade. From their website:

“More mellow than ice, our natural soapstone Whisky Stones™ will cool your next dram just enough to take the edge off without diluting its perfectly balanced flavors. Milled exclusively for Teroforma in Vermont by some of the oldest soapstone workshops in the US, simply chill the stones in the freezer, add 3 or so to your glass of spirits, let stand for 5 minutes and enjoy!”

Please note that these probably won’t work with a mixed beverage of a larger volume, and they won’t fit in a cocktail glass, so unless you’re drinking straight whiskey out of a normal whiskey glass, you’ll probably have to cool your drinks with ice and talk about Sex and the City like all your other female friends.

 Get ‘em here.

Our economy, once a giant toe of the global economic footprint, has obviously taken a turn for the worst in the past couple of years. With more and more homes being foreclosed and more and more Americans being forced to live in tent cities or shanty towns due to those foreclosures, I figured I’d provide a heads up on some serious camping gear that can soften the blow of the transition from your home to your new transient lifestyle, if you happen to be unfortunate enough to find youself in such a precarious predicament.

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Made by Varier Furniture, this chair is the closest you’ll ever come to falling asleep while watching golf in space.  Via Ubergizmo:

It retails for a jaw-dropping $1,200 (and not even a single diamond to be found, to boot) and will be extremely limited in quantity. Perhaps after giving this chair a go will people figure out that $1,200 is a steal, since it places one’s feet above the heart in a fully reclined position, which is as close as it gets for the layman when it comes to zero gravity. There will only be 250 of these special edition black leather Gravity chairs floating around (pardon the pun) worldwide.”

Zero gravity seems like an odd sensation to want to recreate while napping.  I’d prefer something more along the lines of the Between Bewbs Balans Chair or a NotHavingToWorkAnymoreBecauseYou’reRichAllOfASudden Balans Chair