First off: Yes, that’s what Montel does now.  Secondly…what the fuck?  They couldn’t give him his own coin?  They put a color printing of Barack’s face on top of already used coin denominations.  Then they sold it for like 10 bucks a piece with a “certificate of authenticity”.  Haha…there are so many things wrong with this commercial. It’s the subtle things… like totally missing the whole “George Washington was a slave owner” thing.  Awesome.

Found over at Neatorama.

Shit gets really crazy after the jump…wtf.

Found here.

Skipping the commentary in regards to this maniac being on the cover and RS heralding her non-existent comeback, did I miss something?  Is there a reason that the cover of Rolling Stone looks like US Weekly?  There’s only one line on this entire cover that even alludes to the semblance of a piece about music.  Sad.

Via Gawker:

“My boss didn’t know how to save anything into different folders, so it all went into her “Annie’s Stuff” folder on the shared drive. I had access, so I spent many merry months reading her Christmas letters, letters to an ex-baby daddy, and the performance reviews of my coworkers. One day I saw a new file with “Sylvia Fired.doc” on it. The dismissal form she’d filled out was full of misspellings and grammatical errors—I spent my last few hours at work copyediting my own dismissal letter. It was the most fulfilling project I took on during my time there.

I was reading these all morning… some of these are pretty awesome. Click the picture for all of them.

From King 5:

“MONROE, Wash. – In a move that could be right out of a Hollywood movie, a brazen crook apparently used a Craigslist ad to hire a dozen unsuspecting decoys to help him make his getaway following a robbery outside a bank on Tuesday. He then made his escape in an inner tube on the Skykomish River.”

Okay… okay… here’s how it went down:

“He was wearing a dust mask, a particle mask. At first I thought it might be a surgical mask. I still didn’t think anything was wrong, just unusual. Then I noticed he had a pump sprayer,” said Mitch Ruth, who had looked out his office window and noticed the man walking into the bank.

The robber sprayed the guard with pepper spray, grabbed a bag of money the guard was carrying and ran about 100 yards to the creek that runs into the Skykomish River, shedding clothes as he ran.

But apparently, the robber had planned ahead. In case anyone was hot on his trail, he had at least a dozen unsuspecting decoys waiting nearby, which he recruited on Craigslist.”

One of the “decoys” was interviewed (I’m smelling an Inside Man segue here, did this guy watch every robbery movie before he did this shit?)

“He also was told to wear certain work clothing.

“Yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask… and, if possible, a blue shirt,” he said.

Mike showed up along with about a dozen other men dressed like him, but there was no contractor and no road work to be done. He thought they had been stood up until he heard about the bank robbery and the suspect who wore the same attire.

From there, the cook made his watery escape in a creek that dumps out into the Skykomish River. One witness said the robber swam away, but another said he used an inner tube to get away. “

Is this not the best story ever?  I’m almost positive this guy has a secret lair, a cat, a handle bar mustache, and a penchant for insurance investigators past their sexiness prime.

Travis Barker and DJ AM (Adam Goldstein)’s Learjet went down in South Carolina in a fiery crash on Saturday, killing 4 people and leaving Barker and Goldstein in critical condition in a burn ward in Augusta, GA.  The AP reports:

“Federal Aviation Administration spokeswoman Kathleen Bergen said the plane carrying six people was departing shortly before midnight Friday when air traffic controllers reporting seeing sparks. The plane headed for Van Nuys, Calif., went off a runway, through a fence and crashed on a nearby road, officials said.

Barker and DJ AM, whose real name is Adam Goldstein, were in critical condition at a burn center in Augusta, Ga., about 75 miles southwest of Columbia, hospital spokeswoman Beth Frits said.

Two other passengers and two crew members died, said the National Transportation Safety Board. Their identities were not immediately available.”

STILL blogging on the weekend, son.  Honestly though, I hope they’re okay… by the look of the pictures I’m surprised they’re even alive.

First off, my favorite part is the guy randomly chicken-walking, then slamming into the ground in the bottom of the video at the :53 mark.  I was going to comment on the decline of morality amongst law enforcement officials in the 20th century and its direct impact on citizen morale and the assurance of safety in modern society, but most of you stopped reading these words after the first sentence… ahh today’s youth.