“Stuff White People Like” Submission

29 09 2008

#111 Exercising For Causes

Before you start hanging out with white people on the weekends, realize that it’s not 2 days chocked full of boating, collared shirts, The Office and Entourage reruns, and light beer.  Oftentimes, you will discover many of your white friends participate in a cultural phenomena that has gone on for many white generations past. 

White people, inevitably riddled with guilt at their comparatively easy racial history, take it upon themselves to exert their bodies to benefit the less fortunate.  Some popular examples of this are 5ks, 10ks, marathons, “race for”s, and a variety of other human exercise spectacles.   These events are usually held to either increase awareness of a disease or social injustice, or to raise money to discover the cures for these issues.

You should be aware that most of the participants for various guilt-depleting, karma-boosting events are usually daily joggers, so you should do the same lest you end the race heaving and panting like a fatbody while the rest of your white friends talk about what type of Jamba Juice they’re going to enjoy (with protein, of course).

If you happen to participate, its also important that you are somewhat aware of the basics regarding whatever disease, social stigma, or unfortunate occurance for which you happen to be exercising.  Make sure that you also have some extra loot lying around, for you will not only have to participate in the event, but pay a registration fee (at the minimum) to do so.

Finally, and most importantly, don’t crack a joke, comment, remark, or limerick that would do anything to belittle or make-light-of the cause that you are helping.  White people DO NOT like it when their social and monetary sacrifices are not respected for the acts of grandeur that they are.  Stick to these instructions and you can be exhausted, yet unfulfilled, this weekend!

Other Stuff That White People Like  - The High Definite



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